attention · lifestyle · menopause · Middle aged · women

Erghh…Valentines day is coming….

Whether you are single, in a relationship or married, Valentines day can send shivers down your spine (well, it does for me anyway!).

The pressure is on! You have to find something to do on that day! After years of Valentines days’ I can honestly say, it seems to me it has just become a commercial enterprise.

From what I have been reading, the day comes from a long line of different martyrs, starting in Roman times (I am sure it was probably around before that as well!).

It wasn’t until the 14th century that it become about love, and not until the 18th century it became a day where you had to give cards and gifts to someone you loved.

So, why do we feel so pressured to do something on this day?

Valentines day can be absolutely awful for those that are single, especially when you are older and single. You are less likely to get a card from an anonymous admirer ! I know, when I was single in my early 40’s, I used to dread Valentines day.

There is ALWAYS that one person that asks ‘What did you get/do for Valentines day?’ Well, I have to say, I usually felt a bit sorry for myself because I was single at the time. That’s what I did, sat at home eating tubs of ice-cream feeling sorry for myself…wondering if I would ever find someone to share my life with now that I was getting older (and starting to sag in all the wrong places!!). Not that I felt like this every day, it was only on Valentines day!

Now, since getting married, I feel a different kind of pressure. Instead of the question above, it is just reworded ‘What did (insert hubby’s name here) get you for Valentines day?’

What if I would rather celebrate the day we met, or the some other day that means more to us? What if I don’t want to spend a fortune on some gift that if forgotten a few days later?

Yes, you would think that as we get older, it becomes less important. After all, when you are young, it can be exciting (unless you don’t get even one card!) But there is always that feeling in the pit of your stomach that means you feel pressured to do/give something on the day – even as a MAGS.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good bit of romance, I love romantic movies, seeing beautiful moments in life where it shows how wonderful love can be.

I just don’t agree with pressurizing everyone to show their love all on the same day! It can cause some people so much pain, it seems to cancel out the love being shown on the day.

So, what to do? If I don’t buy a card for hubby, or if I don’t get one, I will probably feel a bit sad…although there is really no reason to! I know he loves me, and he knows I love him..a Valentines card is not going to change anything! Arghh, stupid Valentine’s day pressure!

Who knows what the right thing to do is…but be aware, I will be sending out a Valentines day post, just so that each and every one of you gets a Valentines message this year…single, in a relationship or married…maybe we all just deserve it!

Mags xx

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