OK, I just found out it is World Menopause day…what does that mean exactly?!
I think that means we should be bought gifts…yes…gifts!! After all, no gift could mean tears everywhere!!
What gift should you give the menopausal lady in your life?
- Well, for those of us going through some horrific hot flushes today…buckets of ice – no need to wrap the gift, just give it! Better yet…a LARGE ice making machine attached to a fan would be great!
- Those having mood swings today – probably best not to talk about menopause with them, or in fact discuss anything mildly inflammatory. Best gift to give: Bottle of wine and flowers – flowers to be thrown back at you when you do something wrong later on (you know you will) – so you better make them soft ones…I wouldn’t advise roses with thorns, and wine to calm the mood swing!!
- Those feeling a little down due to lack of sleep, having sleeping problems – buy them a massage at a spa…bound to send them off to sleep, even if it is just for an hour! Best to be booked for after a bottle of wine!! UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES LET THE PERSON DOING THE MASSAGE BE YOUNG OR SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD THEIR LIFE IS!! If you do this…please see number two!
- Those going through weight gain and a slower metabolism…UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES BY WEIGHT LOSS PRODUCTS! IF YOU DO…EXPECT TO GET TWO GIFTS – SEE NUMBER 2!! So, instead, buy chocolate. This will help everyone!
- Do NOT give photos of when the lady in your life was younger….if you do…see number 2.
So, I await patiently, I wait to see if Hallmark cards will release #worldmenopauseday cards…
They better…after all…it could get messy if too many menopausal women are having mood swings today!
I also await patiently for my gifts….better get moving people!